Endless Cycle
by AniDragon aka Riona-chan
Summary: When Touya Akira confessed his feelings to Shindou Hikaru, he expected anything but this... On Hiatus, close to being discontinued.


_(Warnings: Shonen ai, death, angst, un-beta-read.)_

**Endless Cycle (part 1)**  
**It Starts****by: AniDragon, aka Riona-chan**

* * *

The phone rang once... Twice... Three times... Four...

Nothing.

Touya Akira hung up the phone, trying to get his nerves under control. This didn't mean anything. After all, who said that Shindou had gone directly home? He had probably stopped by a ramen shop, knowing him.

He leaned back into his sofa, taking a deep breath. As much as he wanted to stop them, memories from earlier that day wormed their way into his mind...

It had begun as a Go match like any other between himself and his rival. However, he hadn't been concentrating on the game as his mind was busy with other thoughts.

Eventually, this led him to lose. He hadn't even noticed, because two seconds after the moku was counted, he had said those words...

"Ai shiteru."

It wasn't like him to slip like that. He had only recently come to the realization of his feelings for Shindou, and hadn't meant to tell him. But that day, it just came all out.

He had to admit, though, he hadn't expected Shindou's reaction. The boy hadn't over reacted at all, which was surprising. He had blinked twice, gray eyes widening only slightly. His mouth had hung open, as if he had meant to say something, but no sound had escaped his lips.

Finally, he had leaned back in his chair, bringing a hand to his forehead. He had murmured something about needing time to think, then promptly got up and left, apologizing over his shoulder.

Akira began hitting the back of his head on the soft sofa, mentally beating himself for acting like such a fool. There were millions of other ways he could have told Shindou of his feelings, but he had to go and take the painfully direct route.

"I'm such an idiot!!!" He screamed at himself, thankful to be home alone that day. His mom was working and his dad was doing the groceries, which was good, because otherwise they'd be wondering why their son was going crazy.

He stood up, finally deciding to go to Shindou's house personally instead of waiting for him to answer the stupid phone. He'd apologize, tell Shindou that he could just forget about it if it makes him feel better, then they'd go on with their lives, pretending the slip had never happened. Everything would work out for the best.

So then why did he have a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach as he put on his jacket and left the house?

* * *

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Akira was really getting tired of not getting answers. He yelled out in frustration, slamming his fists on the door, "What. The. Hell. Is. Wrong. With. Me. Today?!?!"

"I'm not sure," A female voice from behind him said, "But please don't take it out on my door."

Akira turned, his face red, to face none other the Shindou's mother, "Ah! Gomen nasai! You must be Shindou-kun's okaa-san. I'm a friend of his, and I needed to talk to him about something, but he wasn't answering the phone. I thought I'd come over and check if he's here, but I guess if he's not answering the phone, he wouldn't answer the door, either."

The woman rolled her eyes, "Don't take it personally. He's probably practicing Go. When he locks himself in his room like that it's like the rest of the world doesn't exist. He probably didn't even _hear_ the phone."

Akira smiled, "Well, that's a relief. He left the Go salon over an hour ago, but he still wasn't answering. I was getting worried."

She laughed, "I'll go get him for you. Actually, why don't you come in, I'll make tea."

Akira bowed low, "Arigatou, Shindou-san."

They went inside, discovering that the door wasn't even locked, so the theory that he was in his room seemed more then likely.

"Hikaru!" Mrs. Shindou called once they were inside, "You have a friend here to see you! Could you please put that Goban aside for two minutes and come down to say hello?"

No reply was heard from upstairs. She rolled her eyes as she set the water to boil.

"Would you please be a dear and watch that for me while I go upstairs and drag my son out of his room?" She asked Akira sweetly as she made her way up the stairs.

Akira laughed and agreed. A few seconds later, however, his smile was wiped from his face when he heard a soft cry from up stairs.

Eyes widening slightly, he quickly made his way towards the sound. Mrs. Shindou's voice became clearer as he came closer.

"Hikaru?! Hikaru, wake up! Please..."

His mind raced with possibilities of what he might find when he turned the corner, and it was possibly the worst one that met his eyes. Hikaru was on the floor, asleep, unconscious or -- no, he couldn't think of that... His mother was shaking him slightly, tears forming in her eyes. When she heard him come in she turned, finally letting some of her tears fall, "Call an ambulance, hurry!"

Nodding, he quickly made his way to the phone and dialed 911 with shaky hands.

It seemed that everything became blurry after that. He could barely recall even talking to the emergency operator, and the next thing he knew he was sitting on the couch and a policeman had asked him something.

"I'm sorry, what?" He managed to stammer.

"I asked how you knew Shindou-san," The policeman asked again patiently.

_Knew?_ His mind registered, _As in, past tense?_

"We... We're both professional Go players," He answered, refusing to use past tense himself, even though he knew that if the police were here, it meant that... He quickly shook his head, "We've been rivals for a while. Friendly rivals, of course." He added the last part quickly. He didn't want anyone to suspect him of having done anything to harm Hikaru.

"I see," He wrote something on his clipboard, "So you would say that you had a friendly relationship with him? No big grudges?"

"He's a a good friend, yes. I have no reason to wish any harm onto him."

The policeman wrote a few more things, sighed, then put away his clipboard, "I think that's enough for now. I'll let things sink in with you a bit more."

And then he left Akira alone.

He tried putting his thoughts together, vaguely listening to everything around him. He heard Mrs. Shindou crying, and someone -- a friend or neighbor, maybe?-- trying to comfort her. He heard policemen talking amongst themselves. He heard... wait a minute. That voice... But it couldn't be...

"Huh. So, this is what being dead is like..." The voice said.

_No way..._

**_End of chapter 1_**

**_(A/N: Yep.... I feel pretty confident that this turned out better then the original. Still angsty, a little longer, probably gonna be easier to continue from, and generally just plain old better. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it more! .)_**


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